Dona E. Bowens

My introvert is acting up today. You know how people say, “My knees are acting up. It’s probably gonna rain?” Well, my introvert is acting up but the acting up predicts nothing but an inevitable meltdown. And when the meltdown happens, somebody’s feelings are going to be hurt and it won’t be mine. Though I will feel guilty later for putting someone on blast who only made the mistake of calling rather than texting.

It surprises me that introversion is still confused with shyness. I tell people that I’m an introvert and often the response is, “No you’re not!” (Yeah, I’m talking about you MOM.) I want to shout, “I’m not shy but I do find all you mofos draining as hell. Damn. Stop talking!”

I really love the people (Yeah, I’m talking about you AUNT EDNA) who try to break through and breakdown my introversion. Phonecalls, messages, smoke signals, passenger pigeons, drop-ins, drive-bys, singing telegrams and finally just threats. I can ignore them all especially if the situation isn’t dire, and rarely is it dire.

My introversion requires that I have silence in three-day stretches. It also requires three days of doing nothing. By nothing I mean no work, no alarm clocks, no outings and definitely no innings. Hard to come by when you’re still living in Mom’s basement while house hunting. (OMG! I’m an incel!)

Speaking of house hunting. My introversion requires my own space. My fellow introverts? How do you manage living with people? When my introvert is acting up, just hearing someone going about their lives in another part of the house is enough to send me to a mental hospital. “Could you brush your teeth a little quieter, PLEASE?” I’ve almost yelled that on more than one occasion. But it’s not the noise of the teeth brushing, or any other activity of daily living, that gets under my introverted skin. It’s the noise drawing attention away from an introverts favorite subject: Our inner-world.

In that inner-world we recharge and imagine—unencumbered by the goings-on of the real world. The only intrusion I’ll allow into my inner-world is music. The sound of a TV becomes abusive when my introvert is acting up. There are few joys greater to me in life than to be able to say, “I’m doing absolutely nothing.”

I hope to be doing nothing again real, real soon.