Dona E. Bowens

My original plan, way back in 2006, was not to stay in Barcelona for 16 years. I thought I’d do three years, four tops, before moving on to the next destination. I always wanted to make the world feel like a small place before succumbing to the dirt bath that awaits us all. But Barcelona, damn it, that place is addictive af. Took a long time to kick that habit…

So naturally, since it’s come time to skedaddle from this shit hole country, I was like, “I’m going back to my second home and I’m going to make it my only home from here on out.” I got friends there, there’s jamon there and above all else, I know how Spain works.

I got to planning. The plan got elaborate and complicated because one thing is for sure, I cannot be an illegal immigrant in Spain again and risk getting deported back to a shit hole country. To that end, the plan got so elaborate that, thinking about Spain became more pain than pleasure. And then I remembered that I know how Spain works. The bureaucracy would make the angels weep. If anything, my life works best with the least complication. Quick and efficient. My mom told me a few years ago that I’m terribly impatient and I never fully realized it until she said it. Why complicate shit?

I slept on it for a couple of nights. Barcelona, been there, done that. What about making the world feel small, Dona? Wasn’t that the original plan? Now’s the time to try something new, don’t cha think? Then I scrapped my original, overly-complicated plan and set my sights on new shores. I started to get happy. I turned my sails away from Spain. I love you, Spain. I always will. Let’s stay friends…I mean that.

And now, I’m doing what I got to do to get myself to the new country where it’s so much easier to make myself a legal resident, and what’s more, they’re desperate for people like me to teach a little of the English. Can you guess where? And after you guess, would you visit me there? Guess in the comments here, on Facebook, Bluesky or Instagram.

And by the way…anyone need some household goods? Hit me up and I’ll tell you what I’m selling, ’cause Lawd knows, Dona likes to travel light.